Erase the Haze

I discovered a new icebreaker the other day that allows participants to understand perspective a bit better. I intend to use it more frequently with audiences because it takes only a minute or less and there are no props involved. Simple is always better.

It got me thinking about how we, in our day-to-day blurry world, can see things so differently from time-to-time. Then, as thoughts tend to do (at least mine), I randomly recalled the day I got glasses for the first time.

I was probably 11 or 12 years old and learned that because of all the reading I did, my eyesight was less than perfect.

You know how we (okay, maybe it’s just me again) somehow take a snapshot of various situations in our life. Well, for some strange reason I can remember vividly the ride home from the optometrist’s office. Go figure!

I was in the backseat of our red and white ’55 Buick marveling at my new world. I remember rolling down the window (yes, rolling) and being able to see things much more clearly.

Until the doctor visit, I didn’t know I was seeing the world through a foggy haze. Once I donned the new Clark Kent specs…bingo…there were road signs I could read, leaves on trees instead of splotches and grey specks of hair on the back of my Dad’s head. (He wasn’t pleased with that improvement.)

Wouldn’t it be nice if every once in a while we could go “in” for a perspective check? Perhaps we would look through a perspective scope of sorts and someone would ask “is this better or this one?” How about 3? Is it better than 5?

Unfortunately, for many of us, changing our perspective or perception of things doesn’t appear to quite work that way. Most “experts” tell us that how we see the world seems to be a sum total of our family upbringing, present environment, daily interactions and many other life shapers. Education and our desire to continue learning about the world and ourselves might fit that mold as well.

In short and inclusive of the above, I think our perspective is derived from what we focus on. And what we focus on is a clear contributor to our behavior. Moreover, you are the only one who can go “in” and do the check.

That’s where my version of real leadership comes in. Leadership is not a title or position, it’s about the choices we make in each and every moment of the day. It can be as simple as how we respond to a success or a slight. So, if your perspective is that the world is ugly and bad, that’s what you will see. There will be plenty of evidence.

- Posted by Robert Thompson, The Leadership Challenge Workshop Master Facilitator and author of The Offsite.

Comments

[Adrianne]

so what was the ice breaker?

[Wally Bock]

I like the idea behind this post, but I didn't think it was very helpful. Urging people to "erase the haze" is like urging them to "be good." No one can disagree with you, but no one can use what you suggest as a guide to action, either.

Any suggestions on HOW to do what you suggest?

And how about sharing the ice breaker?

[Ray Chang]

True. I once wrote a little essay a while back with this formula:

focus ~> perspective -> attitude -> perspective -> focus -> attitude -> focus ...

Our FOCUS determines our PERSPECTIVE which determines our ATTITUDE which changes our PERSPECTIVE which changes our FOCUS which alters our ATTITUDE which alters our FOCUS which alters our PERSPECTIVE which... so on and so forth.

But I agree with the comment by Wally. Although I practice being grateful, sometimes the haze is just too hard to deal with. Then I try to think about people who have less, but my already negative self just wonders why they don't work smarter and harder. But when that doesn't work, I work out, and sometimes it helps, but then other times, I'm just tired... and still negative.

I think that in order for us to think rationally, we need to replace our haze with fun or pleasure.

Fun (making you laugh and smile - think going to Disneyland and NOT having to wait in lines), alters our physical, emotional, and mental states simultaneously. For example, when I am in the 'haze' I call up a good friend of mine who always has a good story to tell about his life that is self-depreciating and self-exalting at the same time. I pick up the phone, call, and laugh for a good 40 minutes easily. Also, going to Disneyland with an easy to get along with friend works.

Pleasure (not sexual), but something fulfilling, satisfies our soul, and does what fun does in a more meaningful and thoughtful way. I find that instead of just thinking about someone who has less, doing the difficult thing and getting off my sofa, walking out the door, and driving to the soup kitchen to feed the less fortunate and converse with them for a while totally lifts the haze.

Yea... fun and meaning. What more could we ask for?

Thoughts?