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November 18, 2008



so what was the ice breaker?

Wally Bock

I like the idea behind this post, but I didn't think it was very helpful. Urging people to "erase the haze" is like urging them to "be good." No one can disagree with you, but no one can use what you suggest as a guide to action, either.

Any suggestions on HOW to do what you suggest?

And how about sharing the ice breaker?

Ray Chang

True. I once wrote a little essay a while back with this formula:

focus ~> perspective -> attitude -> perspective -> focus -> attitude -> focus ...

Our FOCUS determines our PERSPECTIVE which determines our ATTITUDE which changes our PERSPECTIVE which changes our FOCUS which alters our ATTITUDE which alters our FOCUS which alters our PERSPECTIVE which... so on and so forth.

But I agree with the comment by Wally. Although I practice being grateful, sometimes the haze is just too hard to deal with. Then I try to think about people who have less, but my already negative self just wonders why they don't work smarter and harder. But when that doesn't work, I work out, and sometimes it helps, but then other times, I'm just tired... and still negative.

I think that in order for us to think rationally, we need to replace our haze with fun or pleasure.

Fun (making you laugh and smile - think going to Disneyland and NOT having to wait in lines), alters our physical, emotional, and mental states simultaneously. For example, when I am in the 'haze' I call up a good friend of mine who always has a good story to tell about his life that is self-depreciating and self-exalting at the same time. I pick up the phone, call, and laugh for a good 40 minutes easily. Also, going to Disneyland with an easy to get along with friend works.

Pleasure (not sexual), but something fulfilling, satisfies our soul, and does what fun does in a more meaningful and thoughtful way. I find that instead of just thinking about someone who has less, doing the difficult thing and getting off my sofa, walking out the door, and driving to the soup kitchen to feed the less fortunate and converse with them for a while totally lifts the haze.

Yea... fun and meaning. What more could we ask for?


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